Not Quite Forever
by Auditory Eden
Summary: We have an en, you and I"...Her life isn't perfect, and she's begun to dream of a past before even the Spirit Realm... Haku/Chihiro, mild Chihiro/OC. Companion to "Connections". T for character death. READ CONNECTIONS FIRST


Author: Auditory Eden

Rating: T

Warnings: Character death, suicide.

Notes: This is a companion to "Connections". You should probably read "Connections" first. However, this is not a sequel, it is not the same story, and it is not "Connections" from Chihiro's point of view. Homura only comes in at the beginning in passing. This has abso-freaken'-lutely nothing at all to do with a long running and similar Spirited Away piece I'm working on, called "Of Memories and Misery". Except that the characters Chihiro and Kohaku (occasionally Haku, depending on my mood) are in both. And that's _it_. Really.

_Roses are red, _

_Violets are Blue_

_I don't own_

_You don't sue_

Comprendé?

And _en_ is a karmic link between one person and another. I don't think it actually means soulmate, per say. But in this context that is what it means. Or is meant to mean.

**Not Quite Forever**

A COMPANION TO "CONNECTIONS"

"Father, what have we done to displease you? Why--!" she sobbed, "why do you deny our wish?"

Her father rounded on her, his usually calm face a mask of rage. "You would have me turn my back on our ancestors? You would have me let you desecrate our family name! Have you no shame, girl? All for this hooligan!" He moved to strike her. The boy at her side pulled her out of the way, catching the older man's wrist.

"If you are against our love, why did you not turn me away when I asked to court your daughter?" he said, his voice reasonable. The girl began to weep. "You never then voiced your opposition, and now I will have her, whether you will it or no." Green eyes flashed.

Her father was turning purple with rage. He puffed himself up, and shouted, "If you wish to marry this boy, if you wish to love him, you will not do so in my halls! I curse you, you ungrateful whore, and condemn you! No longer will you dwell in this life, as a god! But as a human, blind and dumb, unable even to see the weakest of our kind!" His hand slashed downward, and her scream echoed through the halls of his kingdom, as her deity was stripped away.

"Kohaku!"

"Sen! I will find you! I promise!" his call followed her, and she cried out one last time, "Kohaku!" Then her body crumpled.

"You will have to find her again and again, in each new form she takes," her father said, with a satisfied air. "Until she forsakes you, I will never let her enter our halls again."

The boy, Kohaku, said, "It is too late for her to forsake me. In the eyes of the Creator, we are already one."

The look on the older man's face was terrible to behold. "You—!" then his face smoothed. "She is no longer my daughter. I have nothing to do with her affairs. Not her life, nor her pledge to you, a river god of no standing."

Kohaku bowed stiffly and departed through the window, a sinuous dragon, white scales shimmering in the moonlight

xXx

Chihiro walked down the street, her head in a fog. She had been vomiting at odd hours, and her period was late. By almost three weeks. This, she surmised, was not a good thing. So she'd told her new husband, Homura, that she was going to the hospital, and set off to get the test. The pregnancy test.

She wasn't sure she wanted a baby; she wasn't even sure if accepting Homura's proposal had been a good idea, but he loved her enough not to be able to tell that she didn't quite love him back...She didn't even really think of him as a friend. When he'd saved her after the accident, she'd wanted to die, though she didn't know why. And some little part of her _had _died, she thought. Why else was she unable to love him as a wife should?

She stopped to look at her reflection in a tall building made entirely from what appeared to be black glass. A boy stood next to her, in the shiny picture. He was a boy, but too old for a boy. He was tall, but had childish features. However, his expression, the lines of his face, seemed older. A slim, pale face, with a frame of long dark hair and eyes that were almost translucent green. She turned. There was no man, at least, none so odd looking. She looked back to him. He smiled sadly and mouthed the words, "_come home_". Then he was gone. A name floated, unbidden, to her lips. "Kohaku," she breathed. She turned back to the street, the name forgotten in an instant. A man in a suit, pepper-grey hair slicked back, walked by, talking on a cell. Black eyes. His glance slid over her, and the eyes glinted green for just a moment. She paused, then moved on.

So what if she was a bit drifty? She asked herself. It was probably just nerves at the prospect of maybe being a mother. Or pregnancy hormones. That was probably it. She stepped onto the sidewalk of the big bridge. Suddenly, everyone's eyes were flashing green at her, his sorrow in the quick glance of every person whose gaze she held. What was going _on_? She'd never been one to see things, although she'd had strange dreams as a child, of riding on a dragon's back. Even stranger were dreams of a boy whose face and name she couldn't remember, courting a her that was older, more formal, and glowingly beautiful. He called her by a name that wasn't Chihiro, but she couldn't remember what _that_ was, either. A kiss, the brush of his hand on her face, these were all strange childhood dreams that she could never quite explain. She'd been having them recently, too, almost every night, and in such vivid detail, color, and sensation that she could have sworn they were real.

Last night's dream had been a ceremony. Between the mystery boy and the beautiful her. She was dressed in a kimono of fine white silk, with an obi of dove grey, woven with golden threads interspersed in the fabric. A pattern of cranes swooped up to her knees, stitched in lacquered sliver and gold thread. The fabric was so soft that she could barely feel it against her skin. He was garbed in a dark robe, blacks and midnight blues swirling over the surface of the robe in a pattern of water. Moonlight silvered both figures, but his was still darker. They stood in a temple, alone. On the altar was a silver knife, long and very sharp, a length of red cord, and a bowl, wooden, old, and carved intricately with scenes of love, of death, and of ceremonies just like this one. The man lifted the knife, and held his other hand over the bowl. A quick slice brought a well of blood to the surface. A few bright droplets fell into the bowl.

"We come before thee, Creator, to acknowledge that which you have revealed to us," he said, speaking quietly, and not to her.

She took the knife next, repeating the gesture, and as his hand still dripped over the bowl, her blood joined his. She spoke, "That when you created us, you made us from one soul."

His voice took over now, "That you moulded us from one piece of clay."

"I light."

"I dark."

They pressed the two palms to one another, lining up the wounds so their blood mixed. She set down the knife, and as one, they bound their hands together with the length of cord. Fingers slipped expertly past each other to tie the knot. Together, also, they spoke. "We are as one."

She alone, now. "We bind ourselves, and our soul restores."

"Under your gaze, Creator, Father, Healer of Wounds and Maker of Worlds." He chanted.

"Our blood as offering."

"Our hearts as binding."

Together again, "We are as one. As you made us. As we love. As we think. As we feel. We are joined." A faint glow emanated from their hands, but their eyes were closed, and they did not see it. Each felt a heavy hand on their head, and the words, "You have my blessing..." echoed in their heads. Their eyes opened. He kissed her firmly on the lips.

And then Chihiro woke up. It was an odd dream, she thought, especially since it seemed like a wedding. And she was _married_, albeit not happily, but contently.

She was opposite the hospital, now. All she'd have to do was cross the street.

The pedestrian sign lit up, and she stepped onto the pavement of the crosswalk with three other people—it was very late, almost ten o' clock at night. And then she saw the man, standing in front of her. Long, greenish hair, green eyes, long, thin fingers. "Chihiro!" he called, "Sen!" She was frozen with shock. His eyes were wild with fear and alarm. "Move!" he called, but her feet wouldn't go. Her voice acted without her guidance, once again. "Kohaku?" she whispered.

The truck couldn't stop. "Shit!" cursed the driver, braking hard. The truck skidded on the pavement. "Fucking hell!" he tried again. There was a girl in the way!

She turned her head slowly, and saw the truck only seconds before it hit her. Her neck snapped on contact with the pavement. Pain jolted from the base of her neck, but the rest of her was oddly numb. She had the strangest sensation of being _in_ her body, but not _of _it. Th world rocked around her, like a mother soothing a crying child. And then she _was_ a child.

A child in the arms of a young boy. "Chihiro?" his voice was strained, tired. It sounded older than she remembered it. But how did she...remember?

Yubaba, the bathhouse, Zeniba, Bou, Kaonashi, Rin, Kamaji, her father, her casting down, and most importantly, _Haku. _

Kohaku. He was Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi. He was also the darker half of her soul.

"Kohaku?" she called, her eyes opening blearily. It was him, but a him slightly older than the ten years she had last recalled him as being. He looked to be about thirteen, and as she sat up in his embrace, she realized, so did she. Her figure was younger, breasts just beginning to blossom on her chest, her hair shortish and cut bluntly.

"Se-um, Chihiro!" he began to speak her old name, but stopped himself.

"I remember, now, Kohaku," she reassured him, calling him by his old name.

"Sen!" his voice cracked with relief. She pressed her hand to his, and threaded their fingers together.

She looked around them. They were just beyond the river, right at the entrance to the Spirit World. Just over the hill was the place where he'd begun to realize that this girl, whoever she was, was important. A tiny sigh escaped her lips, and she ducked her head, burying it in the crook of his neck. "Kohaku, how...how am I here? We were cursed to be apart forever. But I'm here. In your arms. _With_ you. How is that?"

He cradled her close for a moment before replying. "Zeniba told me. After you left this world, the Spirit World, when you were ten years old, I began to remember my past lives. As the god of other rivers, always following you, knowing you, finding you, and having to know I could not be with you. I spoke to her about it, and she said that as it was with such things, if I could steal you back before your twenty fifth birthday, in the human world, in this life only, I could win you back permanently. And you would regain your position, if you chose to take it."

"So you had to make sure I died before I turned twenty-five?" she asked wryly.

He laughed, but now he could be totally open with her. They shared a soul, after all. "Basically, yes."

"So I could come back and we can be together forever like we promised some zillion years ago."

"Yes." He smiled. "And now no one can keep us apart. Not even your father. We have an _en_, you and I."

She placed her hand on his cheek, gazing happily at him. "And all the better for it."

He leaned forward, and hesitantly, gently, pressed his lips against hers. Pulling gently away, he gazed at her softly, and murmured, "An _en_..."

"I still love you, Kohaku..."

"I love you, Sen..."

She pulled a face. "I think I like Chihiro a bit better."

He laughed, fully free for the first time in centuries. "What does it matter what names we take, as long as we have each other?" Still grinning, he finished, "But if it makes you feel better, I love you, Chihiro...."

xXx

Parting Comments: OMG! I just watched Wall-E and it was so CUTE!!!!!! I LOVE MO!!!! RAISE YOUR HAND IF WALL-E MADE YOU SQUEAL WITH CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!!!!

Okay, seriously, Wall-E rocked. It was awesome. And it was also a bit controversial. Which is always good. And Mr. Ray from Finding Nemo voiced the Captain. Thought you should know.

As for those who read "Connections" and liked it, this takes place about...two weeks before the conversation on the bridge. Between Chihiro and Homura. She takes a job at the bathhouse during this time, but she gets to keep her name because she, like Haku, is a god at this point, because she was a god back at the beginning, when the Earth and the world and the gods were made by the Creator, who may or may not come into other stories. Humans worship gods. Gods worship the Creator. The whole scene with her dad at the beginning is because the world is only a few hundred years old, and she has found the other half of her soul, who just happens to be a lower class god. Daddy doesn't like it, and throws her out. So Haku follows her from one life to the next. Till this happens. And then, because she's back in her true god form, she ranks just as high as she did at the beginning. And because they have proved their love to the Creator, nothing can tear them a part. Yay!

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


End file.
